We Highly Suggest You Memorize These Ten Vital Things Every Woman Wants You To Know
Women think we can read their minds. At least, when we try to read their minds, that’s what we think they’re thinking. Of course, we can’t actually read their minds, and if they could read our minds, they would know that already. Obviously.
One thing we do know is that women wish we were more educated about them, mind-reading or no. It turns out that there may be as many as 257 things that women want us to know, according to the Facebook page 257 Things A Girl Wished A Guy Knew, which, God help us, has more than 114,000 likes.
In response, we sent the list around to all our female friends and girlfriends, and here are the top 10 things they’ve come up with. If only we’d known where to look before our last girlfriend left us… (No, we’re not crying. Real men don’t cry. Just read the article, OK???)
10) Don’t Try To Impress Women
OK, hear us out. You can impress women. But the issue is, most of the stuff you think impresses women is more likely to just impress other guys. Swearing? Fighting? Drinking? These may make you seem tough, and possibly like a TV show character we’d like to watch, but the women who’ll take such behavior as an indicator that you’re Primo-Hombre-of-Her-Vivo material are few and far between. If your primary goal when women you’re crushing on are around is to act like an unmitigated lout who sees life as a giant boxing match, you’ll probably be going down swinging when it comes to the battle for her heart.
9) They Don’t Shave Their Legs Every Day
Whether or not you believe humans descended from prehistoric ape-like creatures, we can all agree that the proof is in the pudding when it comes to body hair. By the time we’re old enough to vote and own property, our bodies are already pumping out all kinds of hair in illogical places. And when you cut it short, it just comes back!
For whatever reason, society and the mass media teamed up to tell women that they weren’t allowed to have leg hair. And, by and large, they’ve been polite about it, and for that, you owe them one, especially given the uncivilized fur that’s covering your legs. But just like you’ve been known to skip leg day at the gym, women tend not to shave their legs when they don’t have a very compelling reason to. And that’s fine. If you disagree, you’re kind of a, how shall we say, below-the-hips-ocrite.
8) When You’re Mean To Her…
When you’re in kindergarten, the accepted means of interacting with the opposite sex is teasing, name-calling, and toy-stealing. That’s fine and good, mostly, except when that no-good Suzie took our only Tonka truck. But now that we’re all grown-ups, nastiness, name-calling and “negging” have no place in flirtatious conduct. Now, we’re not saying you’ve got to back-peddle on the friendly teasing thing you’ve got going on with that girl you keep on randomly running into at the laundromat, but let’s be clear: There’s a big difference between being a naughty little charmer and a huge impolite jerk, and that’s a question of context and density. Context: Does she know you and your tone well enough to know you’re just kidding? Density: Do you do or say nice things more often than mean things? If the answer to either of those is “Uhhh… no,” guess what her answer is going to be when you finally ask her out for drinks?
7) Most Girls Don’t Care About Money
For some guys (rich and poor alike) there’s an assumption that girls are only interested in rich guys, and that the richer a guy is, the more interested the girls will be. Well, we won’t lie: All other things being equal, there’s a good chance your average girl prefers the Super-Rich Clone to the Homeless Clone. But just like you’re interested in more aspects of a girl than just her bra size alone, your annual income, liquid assets, and real estate holdings (or lack thereof) don’t necessarily matter to her. If you’re a girl’s type, she’s going to be interested regardless of your dolla, dolla bills. And if she turns you down, there’s a good chance it wasn’t simply because she snuck a peek at your bank balance one time. Of course, if you’re cheap and refuse to spend a dime on her, that’s another story. It’s less about the money, and more about the unspoken message that you’re not worth that much to her. Now that’s just common sense — err, cents.
6) You Better Introduce Them As Your Girlfriend
Let’s set the stage. You’re over at your girl’s place. You’ve been going out for a few months. You’re exclusive, and you each deleted your OkCupid profiles to prove it. Then her friends randomly show up, and she says, “Hi guys! This is my friend, Brad.”
Hurts, doesn’t it? Now you’re wondering what’s up. Are you too ugly? Is it something you said? Maybe you
don’t have enough money haven’t been offering to pay for meals as often as she has? Are you in a fight? Has she downgraded you? Are you just her dirty little secret?
Well, same applies in reverse. When you’re introducing her to friends, you introduce her as your girlfriend. And if you aren’t 100% sure about the status of your relationship, maybe it’s time to have that conversation with her — like a real grown man.
5) Keeping Secrets Is Cheating
When that cute girl you went to high school with added you on Facebook two months ago, you didn’t tell her. Ditto when the girl liked a few of your statuses, and you liked a few of her profile pics. Ditto when you started chatting with her late one night and now you guys have regular talks. Ditto when you made plans to “have coffee and catch up” some time next week. Guess, what, pal? You might not have said anything strictly over the line. You might not have kissed, touched or even, gasp, fantasized about anything. But there’s a reason you’re not telling her — you know that she wouldn’t take it well. Well, you might not be cheating-cheating, but you’re still cheating. Loving relationships are built on trust, not on the very tactical omissions of certain unpleasant truths. It might be time to look yourself in the mirror and own up to some of your more borderline behaviors, bud.
4) They Worry If You Don’t Text Them Back
Text messages are a funny thing, aren’t they? They take up zero space in the physical world — they weigh nothing, they don’t smell, and you can ingest an infinite amount without gaining weight — but as meaningless as they sometimes seem, they secretly are full of meaning. Not all of them, of course — “Brunch at 10 on Wednesday?” doesn’t have the same power as “Baby, what’s wrong? Why won’t you pick up?” But a non-response to the former is a mere trifle compared to a non response to the latter. Admit it: When you choose not to answer your girlfriend’s texts — right away, or at all — you’re sending a message that they aren’t important (and thus she isn’t, either.) So be a gentleman, a hero, a knight in shining armor: If she texts you, just text back. (Unless you’re driving.)
3) They Are Self-Conscious By Nature
Girls can be very self-conscious — constantly bombarded by images of unrealistically beautiful women in magazines and ads and movies and TV shows and billboards and fashion shows. That’s not even accounting for Tumblr. Every time you’re around other girls, there’s a good chance your main squeeze is thinking, in the back of her head, “Uh oh…” We’re not saying you have to give up talking to the female species at large, but we are saying that it’s worth being aware that she does have those kinds of worries sometimes. In most cases, she’ll be happy to give you the benefit of the doubt if you at least acknowledge that her insecurities are valid feelings and don’t simply accuse her of “making a big deal out of nothing, OK!”
2) The Way You Write “I Love You” Matters
Text messages aren’t the only little, itsy-bitsy things in the world that matter. Take love, for instance. Well, you may be asking yourself, “What is love?” And the answer, obviously, is “Baby, don’t hurt me,” and vigorous head-nodding. But A Night at the Roxbury references aside, love is a big deal, and it can manifest itself in your relationships in big ways. If she says, “I love you” and you say, “Me too,” chances are, that’s not the end of the discussion right there. Similarly, if she texts, “I love you,” and you text back, “Luv u 2,” you’re sending her signals again. While this may seem like a minute detail, it can speak volumes to her about how committed you are to the sentiment — in this case, not 2 much. If you really want to show her you love her, don’t skimp. Use all the letters, and all the pronouns, and don’t include any numbers — unless you’re making a heart with the “<” and the “3” at the end of the message.
1) When She’s Mad, She Wants You To Give Her Attention
This may seem counter-intuitive, but when she starts cursing at you, she really wants you to kiss her and tell her you love her. And when she ignores you, give her attention. Fights and spats and disagreements are mended with admissions of wrongdoing, forgiveness and sweet, sweet make-up romance — not icy cold silence.